Doctor doctor!

I finally got my houseman posting, and thank god it's in Selayang!! I spent the last 5 days in a 'kursus induksi' in Melaka, which was really fun! (believe it or not?) They put us up in this pretty decent hotel and fed us 6 times a day. 3 of my friends from KMB where there so we had plenty of time to catch up over shisha and lots of coffee. What fun. Melaka was quite different from what I remembered it to be. It was spotless. The river was so clean you could see fish swimming in it! What a lovely place!

Today, I took out my stethoscope from it's dusty box for the first time in 4 months. Looking at it made me think of how much medicine I have already forgotten. What would I do if someone collapses on my ward? Hopefully, I won't be hiding in a cupboard somewhere.

At the moment, I am feeling quite nervous about Monday! I don't really know what to expect because I've never really done a proper clinical attachment in Malaysia, but hopefully, I'm prepared for the worst. I am prepared to surrender my social life for at least a month till I get into the swing of things. I know there are going to be 16-hour days and 30-hour calls, some scolding and that I'm going to be exhausted. But I hope it doesn't break my spirit. I really hope I enjoy working and don't cause any harm to anyone.

I must now fill out countless forms (of which one needs to be stamped by an Oaths Commisioner!) and pack my suitcase. Hopefully I'll have time to report some experiences along the way!

Menara Rakyat Merana

Disclaimer: I am not pro-opposition, and neither am I pro-government. I am just pro-common sense!

The most recent thing that makes my blood pressure shoot up is the RM5bil Menara Warisan proposed under the 2011 National Budget. The first thing that came to my mind when I saw it in the papers is: what are they thinking? We are not a rich country, and hence, RM5bil should be spent very carefully, and not on some unnecessary luxury. A poor man shouldn't drive a new Mercedes if he can't even pay his rent.

Why I think the idea is totally ridiculous: KL has enough tall buildings. In fact, the Petronas Twin Towers are probably the most distinctive skyscrapers in the world. They have certainly put Malaysia on the map. People all over the world know about them and immediately think of Malaysia when they see them. In fact they give them their own names e.g. chopsticks. So, why is there a need for another one?

RM5bil is a lot of money. You can do a lot with that.

I feel that they could spend it on improving vocational education in Malaysia, thereby providing people with skills that can improve their standards of living. Vocational education is really important for the scores of people who are not into (or not suited to) academia. In countries like the UK and Germany, it plays a major role in training mechanics, plumbers, builders, carpenters who are then empowered by their skills to venture into business or to gain employment.

They can improve the status of our local universities and hence put us on the map for an even better reason. The level of research could be greatly improved, and other courses such as the arts (music, drama, fashion) could be developed.

They could also improve infrastructure in Sabah and Sarawak by building highways, or rail links, thereby spurring development in these areas and improving our GDP as a result. In fact, even the railway in Semenanjung could do with upgrading. It definitely should not take 12 hours to get to Kelantan from KL by train. They could build a tunnel through the mountains and create excellent road and rail connections between the east and west coast (just like what Switzerland has recently done). Such infrastructure makes the country more attractive for foreign investment. Imagine if you could get to Kota Bharu by train in 2 hours? Or what if you build a high-speed train linking Perlis to Singapore? Imagine if it travels at 250kph? That would allow you to travel to Singapore in 3 hours! Or KL to Singapore in 1.5 hours! Such amazing logistics create limitless business opportunities!

The underprivileged society in Malaysia could certainly do with some help. Social benefits should be improved to emulate systems in the UK and in European countries. Disability allowance and job-seekers allowance should be introduced/improved. At the moment, crime is such a major problem in Malaysia and I believe it's due to an obvious reason: socioeconomic disadvantages. Giving them aid and guidance would be a deterrent from involvement in crime, and could help them move their lives in the right direction.

They could also improve our border protection to avoid illegal immigrants pouring in from all the surrounding countries. This is certainly an issue in Sabah where there are huge numbers of illegals from the Philipines and Indonesia, who contribute to a lot of socioeconomic problems.

Above are the many opportunity costs for the 5bil. I just hope people just do what is right in the end, and finally make a difference.

MPO Concert at Dewan Filharmonik Petronas

Last weekend, I went to see a concert by the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra at the Petronas Philharmonic Hall (Dewan Filharmonik Petronas) with Sharmini. The programme was, of course, mainly Russian:

• Mikhail Glinka: Overture to Ruslan and Ludmyla
• Maurice Ravel: Piano Concerto for Left Hand
• Modest Mussorgsky: Pictures at an Exhibition

After having been in quite a few concert halls: the Royal Albert Hall, the Royal Festival Hall, the Queen Elizabeth Hall, The Barbican Centre and Avery Fischer Hall, I was able to notice the details of the DFP and compare it with the other halls. It certainly is smaller than the average concert hall, which allows for brilliant acoustics (similar in size to the Queen Elizabeth Hall, which is built mainly for chamber concerts). Due to this, I was able to appreciate every little detail of the pieces. However, I was sat in the 3rd row from the stage, so this might have been the reason for this.
The hall is certainly a lot grander than the other halls I mentioned, with beautiful wood features and a stunning chandelier-like thing which dominates the hall. The organ is also beautifully integrated into the wall of the hall, creating an impression of neatness and perfection.
The only grouse I have about the DFP is its seating. The stall seats are all below stage level, forcing the audience to look up towards the stage and limiting their view only to the front rows of the orchestra i.e. only the strings. It was impossible to see the woodwind section from the stalls. This limitation prevents the audience in the stalls from appreciating the magnificent orchestra as a whole. However, if you're willing to splurge, the box seats would be more than perfect in terms of acoustics and visibility.



I felt the dress code was rather unecessary. DFP is the only concert hall that I've been to that enforces a strict dress code. It creates a very elitist feel, especially to their evening concerts which require evening wear. I believe this sends out the wrong impression to the public because classical music should be made accessible to all, and not exclusively to a select few. I will understand if the DFP bans slippers, but I don't see why people can't enjoy music wearing jeans or even shorts. I have done that many a time in Europe and America and I find that it removes a lot of hassle from the concert experience.

Now about the audience. There was quite a mix of expatriates and Malaysians. They weren't as silent as the audiences I am accustomed to, and therefore, I found their whispering and murmuring very intrusive during the concert. They applaud immediately and do not wait for the impact of the piece to take effect after the pieces end. The pin drop silence after a deafening finale was not present as much as I'd liked it to be.

The MPO played wonderfully well. However, it wasn't particularly Malaysian because close to 90% of its members are expatriates! Ruslan and Ludmyla was executed to perfection, with every single semi quaver in perfect sync. The piano concerto was my favourite piece of the day, and I was extremely impressed by Alexandre Tharaud's (piano) agile, expressive and playful interpretation of it. It was simply a pleasure to experience. Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition was also very well played, but as I am too familiar with the piece, I did not enjoy it too much because I knew every note before it was played! As it was Sharmini's first time hearing this piece, it was rightfully her favourite piece of the day.



As a whole, the experience was excellent and I look forward to my next concert: Prokofiev Violin Concerto No.2 and Shostakovich Symphony No. 8. I also hope that classical instruments gain more popularity among common Malaysians so that the MPO will eventually be truly Malaysian!

Malay Songs I Used to Love (still do!)

I was looking through my cupboard today and I found an old catalogue of all the music in my MiniDiscs (MDs) from 2001. Here are some forgotten gems I found

Nora: Dendam Dalam Diam


Nora: Hadirlah Kekasih


Nora: Di Persimpangan Dilema


Fran: Sekadar Di Pinggiran


Aishah: Janji Manismu

I LOVE this advertisement!

A Bad Memory

For some reason, today I was reminded about one of my worst memories. I was a second year in KMB and I was picked along with a few others from my class to do a "talent presentation" in front of the whole class as part of our Malay internal assessment. Naturally, when this happened, I tried to worm myself out but to no avail. The teacher was telling each of us what type of presentation she would like e.g. reading a Sajak, Puisi, Pantun and singing. To my horror, I was told to sing about Blanche from "A Streetcar Named Desire". I knew it was coming to me before she even said it. I knew it wasn't random selection. If there was anyone my teacher would've picked to sing, it would be me. I don't know why, but I am convinced of it!

So I went home and reluctantly chose some song by Artie Shaw to sing to. And after much whining to everyone who would listen, I wrote my lyrics and practiced singing in my head over and over again. My laptop speakers were too soft so I decided to use Shafiq's laptop, which had Harman Kardon speakers which were much louder.

The morning came and I woke up with much trepidation and dragged my feet to class. I remember distinctly that Malay was the first period of the day. Some of my other unlucky classmates were reading poems and I remember Aishah was as unfortunate as me to be chosen to sing. After everyone was done, my turn finally came so I went to the back of the class and prepared the laptop and loaded the song. My heart was like a bird fluttering wildly in my chest. All eyes were on me. I cranked up the volume to the max and played the track. To my dismay, it was so soft even on Shafiq's laptop. It was like a tiny whisper in the background. This was of course, appalling because that would mean that everyone would be hearing my voice without any background music to drown it down. I stood there like a statue. Everyone was looking and I just felt mortally embarrassed. My teacher wouldn't back down and kept asking me to start before the period ended and so I finally started singing (after restarting the track for the umpteenth time). My mouth was so dry from the adrenaline and so my voice was so raspy and scratchy. I couldn't really hold any notes and for the whole time, I thought (or wished) that I would just collapse so the whole thing would end. The song felt like it would never end. My voice was getting progressively worse and my chest felt like it was going to burst open.

As all things do, it eventually came to an end. All eyes were fixed on me because no one knew where else to look, and there was pin-drop silence. I knew that they were very uncomfortable and not knowing what to do. I'm sure it was also horrifying for them to have witnessed such torture. Someone started clapping and so everyone did too, out of politeness. Still wishing that I would somehow collapse or disappear, I slowly made my way back to my desk at the front of the class, where the teacher was standing. She looked at me with much disappointment and said "that wasn't too bad was it? You're not dead?" I just smiled back and thought to myself, "yes it was THAT bad and I'd much rather have stripped in front of the class!"

Cars

The situation in Malaysia really sucks for anyone who loves cars (like me). Foreign cars cost an arm and a leg due to the insanely high tax and even local cars aren't all that cheap, despite how unimpressive they can be.

Let me start with my issues with local cars. My family have had it's fair share of Malaysian cars: an original Proton Saga, a Wira Aeroback, 3 different Perdanas and now a Satria Neo.

They cut corners.

1. The interiors have a very cheap plasticky feel. Some of the parts on the dashboard don't seem to fit perfectly well (there are gaps in some places where 2 pieces of plastic come together, and in other places, the parts stick out slightly).
   
2. Interior room is poorly designed. Take the Satria Neo for instance. It is generally very cramped on the inside, especially for the back passengers where there is very little legroom and headroom. Let me compare this to a Volkswagen Polo that looks tiny, but comfortably fits 3 European-sized adults in the rear.
   
3. They lack refinement. Sound-proofing is poor, resulting in very intrusive wind and engine noise at higher speeds. Some cars (especially Kancils and Kelisas) rattle even at moderately high speeds producing a sensation of unsteadiness and frank danger. The suspension on my Satria Neo is plain bad and even little bumps cause a huge jolt on the inside.
   
4. They don't have adequate safety equipment compared to European standards. The maximum number of airbags is 2, with some only having driver airbags. Options of upgrading to curtain airbags are non-existent. No one can deny that Kancils are just deathtraps.
5. There is very little room for customising your car (unless you go to a shop and get it modified after buying it). Engine options for each model are few and far between (usually 2), manual transmission is not available for all ranges of engines, and diesel models are unheard of. Compare this to buying a car in the UK where you can get overwhelmed by the choice of engines and the endless lists of optional extras.
6. The designs are unoriginal and are carbon copies of other cars. This is no longer true for Proton, because they now design their own cars, which I am very proud of. Congratulations. But to Perodua, Naza etc, they are just producing carbon copies of Japanese models. Take for instance, the MyVi, which is basically a Daihatsu Sirion with a perodua label on it. I personally find that shameful to say the least.
7. Some models are SO outdated. For example, the Perdana (of which production only stopped last year) was released in 1994. This model has been sold for the last 15 years! The old Saga was sold for far too long too (with various facelifts, but essentially, the same car!)
   
8. The cars tend to be very basic and don't really have any inspiring features such as adaptive headlamps, light sensors, rain sensors, parking cameras, built-in navigation systems, electronic user interfaces. Hence to fill space in brochures, they even put "Keyless-entry" as a feature. When I read that the first time, I thought it was keyless ignition. I was about to be impressed, when the salesman told me that it just meant remote-controlled locks/alarms (which have been around since the early 90s!)

I don't understand how our local cars can be of so poor quality when they've had over 20 years of protection from the government to develop. Were they complacent because they felt protected? (and hence, did they not really try very hard to compete?).
I will not accept that there is a lack of talent or expertise. There are thousands of Malaysians that are educated to the highest standards possible. A lot have even qualified with Engineering degrees from the top universities in the UK, US, Germany, France, Japan and Korea. Many of them where given scholarships by the government. I know that many have electrical engineering degrees and probably not many have automotive engineering qualifications. I'm also sure Malaysia does not lack artistic talent for designing cars? There have to be some artists in this country?
What needs to be done

1. Increase competition with foreign cars to put more pressure on local car companies to perform. Reduce the tax on foreign cars but still keep it to the point where they cost a bit more than local cars. This should spur some panic and perhaps knock some competitive spirit in them.
2. Capitalise on Malaysia's talent. Employ these Engineering students who return home and find themselves jobless (and therefore leave the country again!) - JPA should deploy their scholars here. Consult with Malaysians who are involved in the automotive industry abroad. I'm sure if you maximise the utilisation of brains, you'd be able to produce very impressive cars with advanced electronics and great features (such as mentioned above). With them on board, I'm sure you'd be able to design more engines quickly too (petrol, diesel, hybrid).
   
3. Use better quality plastics! Don't use the current ones which give such a scratchy feel! Try using something similar to what BMW or Mercedes use! Use higher quality buttons so they don't feel like they'll fall off after a year.
4. Put more emphasis on safety. Ensure that you provide buyers with the option of having 6 airbags etc.
   
5. Really test out your models before releasing them to tackle problems such as interior space, comfort and refinement. Sound proof your cars well so they will feel more expensive, and hence, more worth the money.
6. Renew your models every 5 years or so. Don't keep selling the same model with a slight facelift here and there for ages.
7. Stop copying foreign car models. I find this disgraceful and defeats the purpose of having a national car. What is the point of having your own brand if you're just selling someone else's product with a different label? Have a nationwide call for talented people who can help design our own models and perhaps get some help from Malaysians working in car industries overseas.

I'd like to see the day when Malaysian cars can compete in an open market with all foreign cars (without the need to tax other cars like mad). And I hope to see that day by 2020 the latest! Nothing is impossible if you do it wholeheartedly!

Driving in Kuala Lumpur

Several words may succinctly describe the experience of driving in KL: appalling, chaotic, stressful, idiotic. Yesterday, I decided to drive to KLCC from Ipoh knowing full well that there was going to be a jam due to the Raya shopping crowd. Rookie error. I was well on my way down Jalan Sultan Ismail (in denial about the jam) when all of a sudden, I realised that the road was closed further down for who knows what. At this point, all hell broke loose.

There was a MASSIVE jam, and there were more lanes in the road than there was supposed to be. NO ONE was giving way (ok I lie, one person in a gold Toyota gave way). No one cared what the bloody traffic light was showing (it was just a slightly interesting ornament by the street that wowed everyone by it's bright colours). I was fucking pissed off because it didn't matter if the traffic light was green for me because imbeciles from the other side were pouring in and congesting the road further. Basically, there were no rules, besides the rules of the jungle (hutan rimba). People were being aggressive and idiotic, hence reducing themselves to baboons, the kind with the red ass. Motorcylcles were EVERYWHERE. They are the most bloody annoying things. They don't stick to any particular lane. They swerve in front of you if they feel like it (and you're forced to make sudden brakes because you don't really feel like killing anyone). And worst still, I had to change lanes in this chaotic situation. It was a complete fucking nightmare.

And about driving in Malaysia in general (as well as today): yellow boxes and zebra crossings: who the hell knows what they are! They are decorations put there so tourists can take pretty pictures. Yellow lines, double lines? Who cares. Just park your bloody car anywhere it fits: on the road, on the pavement, at a roundabout, in front of other parked cars. In fact, just park in the middle of the road if you have to. I'm sure other people will try to avoid it.

This happens because the traffic police have failed miserably to assert their authority, due to rampant corruption and general apathy which has resulted in very little respect from the general public. Malaysians are also generally inconsiderate and reckless when it comes to rules and regulations. They are, in general, not civic-minded like Europeans. Hence, hoping for them to adhere to rules is a lost cause. The way to make it work is to FINE their asses and threaten their licenses with DEMERITS. Fine them for: beating red lights, speeding, parking illegally, not stopping at yellow boxes, not stopping at zebra crossings, tailing ambulances. FINE THEIR ASSES. THREATEN THEIR LICENSES. Fine them consistently, because if you do it half-heartedly, you will confuse them, like how a child becomes screwed up if parents are inconsistent at punishing and rewarding him. Look at Singapore. Without their strict police, they too will drive like apes, like when they've crossed over to Malaysia. But due to the constant fear of being fined, they drive so beautifully. So, dear traffic police, can you please uphold the rules that you are supposed to uphold?
Of course, I can't blame them for being corrupt because they probably don't get paid much at all. They've got to pay the bills and feed their children somehow. So, their pay should be increased! Maybe the same pay as doctors. It's worth it. Pay them well, and they will not be corrupt anymore. And increase their numbers so their presence will be felt on the road and people will know that they're constantly being watched.

The benefits of this

1. People will stop driving like red-assed baboons and more like human beings. Hence less stress on the road
   
2. Fewer accidents on the road, hence fewer deaths
3. No bloody plastic cones all over the place (hospitals, shopping malls, government buildings) to stop people from parking their cars
4. The fines can indirectly contribute to the pay of the traffic police
5. And keep this going for years, and you will finally successfully instil some civic-mindedness

Dearest MK, my heart goes out to you

Dearest MK

All my fingers and toes are crossed for you. May there be light for you at the end of this tunnel. Stay strong and fight, and may victory be yours.
Lots of love

Elias xxxx

On Travelling Solo

Europe is crawling with people who travel on their own. As I said earlier, Munich was the first time I travelled on my own. And it was brilliant!! When you're on your own, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want and at your own pace. If you get bored, you can easily meet people at the hostel or go on an organised pubcrawl with other travellers. And best of all, there is no group politics. No arguing over where to eat or where to go etc. And because you're "forced" to make friends, you end up meeting interesting people from different parts of the world, which is great, and also useful if you ever decide to visit their part of the world. This definitely boosts your self confidence, in terms of socialising with other people.
And when you're own, you're more likely to open your mind to the local culture than if you're travelling with friends from the same background. You will be more inclined to try new things, even if they're weird.

I'm rambling

München

Diary entry

Before I left Europe, I decided to have a final European holiday. I chose to go to Munich again because of how much I loved it the last time and because I didn't have time to visit a few famous places the last time. It was also the first time I travelled by myself.

So on Day 1, I checked in and went to the Olympia Stadion (Olympic Stadium), which in all honesty, was really boring. It was like going to Bukit Jalil. Empty. But there was some sort of fair going on so I had some beer and sausage!
Then I left promptly to check out BMW Welt. BMW stands for Bayerische Motoren Werke (Bavarian Motor Works), which is why it's such a big thing in Munich. On entering, it looked like a huge state of the art showroom. All the latest models were out on display and you could sit in them. This was of course, like heaven to me. Then, I managed to get a student discount for the BMW museum with my expired card (4 euros instead of 12!). This was just amazing. Many old models were on display, from the very first BMW, to the war vehicles of Nazi Germany to the gimmicky 3-wheeled vehicle.
Then I returned to my hostel and met JunSup (a South Korean guy backpacking across Europe on his own). We decide to go to the bar to hangout, where I meet 2 South Korean girls.

Day 2. Went on the walking tour again, and was reminded of some important history surrounding the Third Reich and Munich itself, and how Bavaria is such a wealthy separatist state. After this, I decided to check out the Residenz and then ventured a bit further to Schloss Nymphenburg. Upon returning, I decided to just chill out in the Englischer Garten, to find some nude sunbathers on the riverbank! Later, went out to dinner with JunSup and SiYoung, another South Korean travelling in Europe in a big beer garden near the hostel.

Day 3. Had breakfast with JunSup and said goodbye. Plan to visit Seoul in the future. I promptly left for the Müller'sches Volksbad, which is a public bath in Munich which was opened in 1901. The architecture was stunning both from the outside and on the inside. Then I went on a tour to Dachau Concentration Camp. It was slightly disappointing because most of the camp was destroyed by the local people after the war (compared to Sachsenhausen in Berlin, which was pretty much the size it was). There, I was told about the atrocities of the Nazies, which I was already very familiar with. Lastly, I visited some eccentric bits in Munich like the Asamkirsche (Asam Church) which was absolutely stunning.
Then I left.

The Mucus is back with a vengeance!

I used to suffer from hayfever all year round in Malaysia!! I remember leading a miserable existence due to constant sniffing and sneezing and due to a constantly blocked nose.
Then of course, I moved to the UK and my problems were gone overnight. But every time I return for a holiday, my problems always start again immediatly after I leave the airport. And of course now, I am constantly sniffing and blowing my nose. And my throat is itchy and I never stop sneezing.

I used to think that this was due to an allergy to dust and cats and dogs. But I was never affected by dust or cats or dogs in the UK. And so I then thought I was allergic to Malaysia. But now, I think it's the grass pollen that's in the air all year round in tropical Malaysia.

I've resorted to wearing this magnetic necklace, which is supposed to cure hayfever. Well pendant, I'm still sneezing!!!
Next step after magnetic pendant: steroid nasal spray

Good luck to me

The last few months in the Kingdom and ramblings

Before I left the UK, I decided to watch as many concerts as possible. I went to 3 Proms concerts which were

1. Britten: Requiem Sinfonietta, Prokofiev: Piano Concerto No. 1 and Shostakovich: Symphony No.7 by the BBC National Orchestra of Wales
   
2. Mahler: Des Knaben Wunderhorn and Shostakovich: Symphony No. 10 by the Australian Youth Symphony Orchestra
   
3. Mozart: Der Schauspiel Direktor (Overture), Liszt: Piano Concerto No. 1, Rimsky-Korsakov: Scheherazade and Tchaikovsky: Symphony No. 2 by the BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra

Of the three, my favourite was undoubtedly the second concert, which completely blew me away! It just amazes me to see young people (under 18s) play music to such a high level. It gives the concert a lot more meaning. That real music still lives in young people in the world. That not only old age pensioners listen to serious classical music. Also, concerts by younger orchestras tend to be more energetic in my opinion. You can feel the excitement just radiating from all the young faces on the stage. It's not everyday that they get to perform in the Royal Albert Hall. It's not everyday that they get to play in the BBC Proms, the biggest classical music festival of the world. And it's not everyday that they get to play for thousands of people. Whereas when I watch professional orchestras (especially where most of the members are quite old), I sense the feeling of boredom on stage. I sense the feeling that for some of the musicians, what they are doing is work. The same routine. It doesn't excite them to perform in the Royal Albert Hall. It's just another big famous hall among the countless others they've played in. Hence, I feel that when a youth orchestra plays in a magnificent hall like the Royal Albert, they are putting in a 110% of effort and concentration. You can feel them immersing themselves in the piece they are playing. You can hear the power of the accents that they play, or of the crescendos and decrescendos. You can hear every detail of the piece being executed with utmost perfection.
This was how perfectly Shostakovich's 10th was played on the night. The sad phrases were played with such sorrow that you can see a look of depression from the faces of the orchestra. You can imagine the suffering of the people of Russia under the tyranny of Stalin. How the freedom to be human was completely stifled and no one trusted anyone. The feeling of terror that lived portrayed with musical iciness. There was nothing to look forward to but death. But as the piece moves on, you start to hear hope. Stalin dies. And finally, the jubilant celebration ensues with relentless power and exaltation. The sheer volume of the piece was staggerring, in fact, deafening. And the return of individuality, marked by the DSCH motives in the last movement.








I was completely and utterly blown away. I was almost reduced to tears by the sheer perfectness of the performance. By the fact that it was performed by an orchestra of under 18s. Wow.

At times like these, I feel very passionate about starting a music programme in Malaysia. What would I do if I was a billionaire? Hmmm.
I would sponsor a nationwide music programme (something like the Simon Bolivar Programme in Venezuela) where schools would be provided with classical instruments and music lessons would be given free. Students would be encouraged to sit ABRSM grades, and their success would be rewarded by membership of State Youth Symphonies, which would regularly perform classical repertoire in concert halls in every state (newly built to the best specifications, of course, with acoustics like the Barbican centre). This would give the Malaysian public more exposure to this form of art, which they are currently severely losing out on. They would also be encouraged to excel in the music programmes (measured by ABRSM grades and acquisition of Diplomas) as it would be recognised by local public universities and would help them for entry into competitive courses. The musicians who do well would also be eligible for scholarships to read music in the best music schools and universities of the world, such as Guildhall, Juilliard, Trinity, Cambridge, The Moscow Convervatory and the St Petersburg Conservatory. The best of the best musicians in the country would be granted membership into the Malaysian Youth Symphony which would hold biannual international tours and perform in the best concert halls in the world.
Job opportunities would also be open to them by the formation of professional Symphony Orchestras in all the major cities.

This would not only enrich Malaysians with music, put also give them the power to express themselves and their culture in the form of music. The knowledge that they acquire can be used to compose pieces that showcase the vibrant culture of Malaysia that can be performed worldwide. Malaysia needs a Tchaikovsky, a Shostakovich, a Mahler, a Sibelius, a Mozart, a Beethoven. These amazing composers have contributed to the world with their timeless pieces and have given their countries such great prominence as a result.

This programme would also be the saviour to all those Malaysians whom the Education System has failed. The Malaysian education system is so out of date and does not encourage creativity at all. It only encourages science, which causes art to be viewed so negatively (viewed as a field for less intelligent people). Hence a lot of people who are artists at heart are forced into fields that they have absolutely no passion for, such a medicine and engineering. They will go on to live their lives thinking about the dream that could've been. And of course, for those who don't try to conform to the system, they will find it extremely hard to succeed in the country and will go overseas in search for better opportunities that suit their talents. Some would end up as rebellious youths who then turn into social delinquents as they give up on the system. Well, this programme would certainly be a godsend for all these Malaysians, and would give art and music the image it truly deserves in this country.

Will this dream of mine come true? I need to be a billionaire first!

I have issues

Self confidence was something I never really had. I was always quite an introvert and it was always extremely frustrating to have this brick wall that stops me from expressing myself. I dunno why, but it's just difficult.

I tried to change all this when I went to uni. It was going well in first year and I was still working on it in second year. I made many friends. Went out a lot. Tried to be more outspoken and friendly. But of course, I just had to lose my hair. This was a huge blow to my already low self esteem. It didn't help that it happened so suddenly at the end of my 2nd year. It's such a terrible situation because I keep trying to just move on with life, but keep getting into bouts of severely low mood. It cannot be fixed. I constantly tell myself that there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. But yet, it really affects me. I'm always so self-conscious around other people. I can't stand it when I see their eyes dart to my hair, it makes me blush so much and freeze up. I get so anxious when this happens that I can't really hold a conversation. I've lost so many friends because of this stupid problem because I was just too afraid to face them. Too embarrassed for them to see my hair. And so I hid, and avoided, and now, I feel down so often because of all the friends I lost, who have moved on with their lives and forgotten me. I often have sleepless nights just thinking about this, just wishing that my hair would just grow back and everything will be fine again.

But I must move on. Hence, I shaved my head and oh my god, how liberating that felt! I don't look too bad although of course I can't deny that I would prefer to have hair. But at least, I don't look like a geek anymore and I look more youthful even (because a shaved head looks tonnes better than thinning hair). Now, I vow to cherish all the friends I have and reconnect with the lost ones. I am going to try and accept the way I look, no matter how much an uphill struggle that is at times. I need to be more positive. There are worse things than losing hair. At least I'm alive, healthy and sane (I think).